How to Beat Resistance and Actually Get Stuff Done
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio
Does someone (or even yourself) telling you that you have to, make you want to do that thing even less?
Is your motto “You can’t make me (and I can’t either)”?
Or, maybe you’ve just got a temporary case of the “I don’t feel like its”?
Either way, when you’re stuck in your head about not wanting to do the thing you really need to get yourself to do, it can be super frustrating.
Because on some level, you want to do the thing.
Or maybe you want it to be done.
But you don’t actually want to DO IT.
So, when you’re stuck in this place, what can you do to get yourself out?
Well, you’re in luck because I’ve got some strategies you can experiment with the next time you get stuck in this rut, and don’t feel like playing a one-person game of chicken with yourself!
Like a lot of the stuff I talk about, a huge part of getting yourself to do the things you don’t really want to do, but do want to be done, is mental trickery.
So, let’s get into a few strategies that actually work!
1. Reduce Perceived Pressure
You know the feeling; not doing the thing is only increasing the feeling that the thing needs to get done.
But still, you just can make yourself do the thing.
So, what do to?
Make the things you HAVE to do feel a bit more like choices.
Remember when we talked about “could-do” lists?
Well, it’s that on steroids.
When you are choosing to do something (or you can trick yourself into feeling like you are), that can help to reduce the internal resistance you’re feeling.
And you know when we talked about “someday/maybes” ?
A big part of the point of the “someday/maybe” philosophy is that you’re not turning things that aren’t obligations into them.
You’re giving yourself permission NOT to do the task unless or until you want to.
You’re giving yourself more agency, more choice, and therefore increasing the likelihood you’ll do the thing because there’s less pressure around doing it.
2. Break It Down to Get it Done
Turn everything into low-hanging fruit.
Make the first step so small it’s more difficult to convince yourself not to do it than to actually just do it.
3. Remind yourself that no one can MAKE you do anything; you’re in control.
It may not feel like it, but you have control.
No one knows this more than a child who’s decided they are not.going.anywhere.
(Do I sound bitter? Well, let’s just say one of my kids had a years-long habit of lying down on the ground in the middle of a hike and just not moving. Once you can’t carry them, well, you can’t “make them”.)
So, it helps to remember that literally everything you do is a choice.
Sure, choices have consequences.
But it’s you who gets to decide if the consequences are worth it to you.
4. Gamify it
Would you want to do it more if it were more fun?
Yeah??
Then try to make it more fun!
What? You’re super competitive, you say? Well, this is a strategy that just might work for you:
Can you get X done in 10 minutes?
Can you race your colleague to see who can get your inboxes down to zero fastest?
Can you make it a game?
The possibilities are endless! So get silly.
5. Do it with a friend
Use the concept of "body-doubling", where having someone near you reduces the resistance to do the thing, and even provides a little accountability.
Grab a friend, a colleague, or even a stranger on Zoom using a service like Flown, Caveday, or Focusmate.
Share what you plan to accomplish, spend the next hour doing it, then share what you did in that hour.
In my Time Well Spent Coaching Program, our weekly focus sessions (that work just as described above) are a super popular way for my clients to get all that stuff they’ve been procrastinating on actually done, every single week!
6. Use the 5 Whys
Many times, the resistance to doing something is not surface level, it’s deeper.
It might related to some underlying fears, anxieties, or perfectionism.
Get to the root by asking yourself why, 5 times.
Each response will get you to a deeper level of understanding.
Once you’ve clarified the root cause, it may be easier to rationalize doing or not doing the thing.
But either way, you’ll have moved out of the quicksand and into the action.
7. Be kind to yourself
Beating yourself up rarely works in the short term and is pretty harmful in the long term.
You know the best way to learn, grow, and get things done?
By being kind to yourself. When we congratulate ourselves on even the smallest of steps in the “right” direction, we train our brains to want to do more of the thing. Just like kids and dogs, you’re not immune from positive reinforcement. It works just as well on ourselves.
So, you didn’t do the thing.
That’s OK.
You can only move forward.
And make a different choice.
As much as I wish we could, unfortunately, we can’t go back into the past and change what’s already happened, or what hasn’t.
